Actively seek ways to practice the skill.
To do this you could choose a goal together of how you’ll practice.
“Let’s try to find one way each day that we can be persistent.”
Or you could set a time each day to review ways you have used that skill (or times you could have used that skill but didn’t).
At dinner time: “Ok, who wants to be first to tell us how you were persistent today?”
When tucking Sally into bed: “I tried to be persistent today at the gym when my workout was really tough! How about you?”
The idea of practicing is to get in the habit of understanding how the skill can help and also of recognizing when the skill would be helpful to use. It’s not all about doing the things perfectly right now.
So even if you and your kids recognize times when you should have used the skill and didn’t, don’t get too frustrated with yourselves. It’s a good thing to recognize you could have used the skill. In fact, that’s a big part of making change happen.
In those times, take a minute to think or talk through what you could have done. This will open up both of your minds to be more likely to act in this way next time you are in a similar situation.
Be patient with your child (and yourself) as you are learning this new skill. (Also, remember that depending on your child’s developmental age, he may not be able to completely master the skill yet. Remember that you are laying an important foundation for when he will be able to. Without that ground work, even when he is able to, he wouldn’t have the experience or knowledge to do it. So keep at it now!)
Staying up beat, positive, and encouraging keeps the mind in a progress and learning mode, instead of a defensive and closed off mode. You will enjoy the process more and it will be more productive too.
Remember that you and your child have time to learn. If either of you miss an opportunity to use your new skill, remind yourselves that you’ll get it next time!
Eventually you will! Think about how rewarding that will feel!
Keep practicing! And keep celebrating each little bit of progress!
Many of the resources on this site show what Success Skills look like. Those examples can give you ideas of how to practice them.
Now that you know how to use the Resources on this site, take a look at the list of Success Skills to pick one and move forward in your goal of building strong character!
As you do you may see how this process strengthens your relationship too.