After you pick an area to focus on, the following steps can (and should) be done in any order, repeatedly.
Point Out Evidence
Evidence is an example that proves something. The brain needs evidence to support a new idea in order to know it is real or possible. Evidence, examples, or proof of something helps you know what that new thing could look and feel like in your life.
Evidence of persistence is seeing examples of people or things which are persistent.
Evidence can be found in ourselves, in other people, in nature, and even in stories.
Evidence of persistence:
A seed pushing up through the ground to grow into a flower.
Ryan pushing himself to do that last 10 push ups of his goal.
Abraham Lincoln running for office after office, until finally he was elected president.
The Little Red Hen sticking to her task even though no one wanted to help her.
You can find evidence when you read a book, watch a movie, hear a friend talk about their life, or as you think about your own.
When looking for evidence in order to develop a specific skill it’s important to identify and celebrate what you find.
You identify evidence by pointing it out and by naming it. Calling it what it is.
Celebrate ALL your efforts and attempts as you find evidence and later as you practice. At first it may feel a little awkward to celebrate tiny successes, but the smallest success leads to greater and greater ones. Acknowledging your effort and congratulating yourself for it actually increases motivation and confidence.
Celebration could be as simple as telling yourself good job or doing a happy dance. It could be allowing yourself a little extra time to read the book you’ve been wanting to or indulging in a favorite snack.
The resources on this site are designed as evidence. Books, stories, movies, songs, activities, quotes that all have evidence of Success Skills.
Note: Although some resources (like many of the books) may be for children, the evidence of Success Skills can pertain to people at any level. Sometimes because the example is simplified for children it can be easier to see clearly. If children’s books feel too childish for you that’s ok. Check out the music list instead.
Actively seek ways to practice the skill.
Set up a way you will practice and set a time to check in with your progress.
The idea of practicing is to get in the habit of understanding how the skill can help and also to recognize situations when the skill would be helpful to use.
So even if you recognize times when you should have used the skill and didn’t, don’t get too frustrated with yourself. It’s a good thing to recognize you could have used the skill. In fact, that’s a big part of making change happen.
In those times, take a minute to think through what you could have done. This will open up your mind to be more likely to act in the way you want next time you are in a similar situation.
Be patient with yourself as you are learning this new skill.
Staying up beat, positive, and encouraging keeps the mind in a progress and learning mode, instead of a defensive and closed off mode. You will enjoy the process more and it will be more productive too.
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Eventually you will! Think about how rewarding that will feel!
Keep practicing! And keep celebrating each little bit of progress!
Check In and Discuss
It may seem easier to work on this by yourself, but we aren’t meant to do everything on our own.
Find someone who is encouraging. Let them know your goal and ask them to check in with you about it.
Having an accountability partner like this can help you be even more successful.
However, be careful in choosing this person.
No one will understand your desires and dreams like you do.
You need someone who will be encouraging, not the opposite.
If someone doesn’t think this is the right path for you or that your effort isn’t worth it, then they may not be the right person for the job.
Now take a look at the list of Success Skills to pick one and move forward in your goal of building strong character!
We’re in the same boat as you are. We want to be better and better. That’s why we’re constantly adding more resources and tools to help you on your journey. We hope you’ll check back often.